THE COOL THING ABOUT DEPRESSION | KOKEBOI

Depression. It’s a word that carries weight, often shrouded in stigma, misunderstanding, and silence. Yet, it’s an experience that touches countless lives, especially as we navigate the tumultuous transition from childhood to adulthood. In this episode, we dive deep into the complexities of depression—what it feels like, why it happens, and how we can not only cope with it but also grow from it. Whether you’ve faced depression yourself or know someone who has, this conversation is for you.

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The Sudden Shift: From Childhood to Adulthood

Let’s start with the transition into adulthood. For many of us, this shift feels less like a smooth journey and more like a sudden smack in the face. One moment, you’re a child or a student, being provided for and guided. The next, you’re expected to provide, to deliver, to figure it all out on your own.

"When you grow up in this country, the transition from childhood to adulthood comes at you like a smack. I don’t think any of us was really ready for the fullness of the responsibilities that adulthood brings."

This abrupt change can be overwhelming. Schools, religious institutions, and even families often fail to prepare us for the realities of adulthood. The result? Many of us feel lost, unprepared, and, in some cases, deeply depressed.

What Does Depression Feel Like?

Depression isn’t just sadness. It’s a heavy, all-consuming energy that saps your motivation, drains your willpower, and can even make you question your desire to live.

"Depression is the darkest of all energies. It isolates its victim, wrapping around your psyche in a way that makes you feel like everything is going against you."

When you’re in the grip of depression, it’s easy to feel like there’s no way out. You’re battling not just the external pressures of life—work, relationships, family—but also an internal storm that feels impossible to calm. And because depression thrives in isolation, it’s often a silent struggle, one that many face alone.

Coping with Depression: Physical Activity and Purpose

So, how do we cope? One of the most effective strategies is physical activity. Whether it’s exercise, creative work, or simply engaging in a productive task, movement can help lift the weight of depression, even if just temporarily.

"When I slipped into a depressive episode earlier today, picking up my camera and shooting this episode uplifted my mood. Physical activity, whether it’s exercise or creative work, can be a cure to a certain degree."

Kokeboi shares a personal story about playing football after a breakup. While the activity didn’t completely erase the pain, it provided a brief respite—a few hours of relief that reminded him there was still light to be found.

Another key to coping is addressing the root cause of your depression. If you lost a job, finding a new one can restore a sense of purpose. If a relationship ended, reconnecting with loved ones can help fill the void. The goal is to take actionable steps that counteract the feelings of helplessness that depression often brings.

When Depression Can’t Be Fixed: Embracing Suffering

But what about the kinds of depression that can’t be easily fixed? What do you do when the cause is something irreversible, like the loss of a loved one or a traumatic event?

"You cannot unbreak your head simply because you have urgent medical care waiting for you after hitting it with a hammer. The trauma has been dealt, and now it’s for you to deal with it."

In these cases, the focus shifts from fixing to understanding. Philosophers like Fredrick Henry Amiel and Carl Yung suggest that suffering—and by extension, depression—can be a catalyst for growth. Amiel’s idea of "making use of suffering" and Carl Yung’s view of depression as a precursor to personal renewal offer a fresh perspective. Instead of running from the pain, we can lean into it, using it as a tool for transformation.

Depression as a Catalyst for Growth

This idea—that depression can lead to growth—is a recurring theme in the episode.

"Growth comes from trauma, growth comes from negative experiences. Depression forces us to change, and in that change lies the opportunity for renewal."

Think about it: some of the most profound moments of growth in your life likely came after periods of struggle. Depression, as painful as it is, can be a signal that you’re on the brink of a new chapter. By reframing it as a necessary part of the human experience, we can begin to see it not as an enemy but as a teacher.

The Missing Rites of Passage

The conversation also touches on the absence of traditional rites of passage in modern society. Historically, young men underwent intentional trauma—like hunting or survival challenges—to prepare them for adulthood.

"In the olden days, rites of passage taught young people how to deal with trauma in a controlled way. Today, without these rituals, our bodies force us to confront depression as a means of growth."

Without these structured transitions, many of us are left feeling unmoored, unsure of how to navigate the challenges of adulthood. Depression, in this context, can be seen as the body’s way of forcing us to confront the changes we need to make.

Key Takeaways

Depression is Universal: It’s a shared human experience, especially during life’s major transitions.

Physical Activity Helps: Movement, whether through exercise or creative work, can provide relief.

Embrace Suffering: Depression can be a catalyst for personal growth and renewal.

Investigate Your Emotions: Understanding the purpose of your depression can lead to profound self-discovery.

Rites of Passage Matter: The absence of traditional transitions can contribute to feelings of emptiness, but these emotions can also signal a need for change.

Final Thoughts

Depression is a complex and often isolating experience, but it doesn’t have to define us. By reframing it as an opportunity for growth and embracing practical coping mechanisms, we can navigate this challenging emotion with resilience and purpose.

If you found these insights helpful, I encourage you to listen to the full episode for more in-depth discussions on mental health and personal growth. And remember, you’re not alone. Share your thoughts, reach out to loved ones, and let’s continue this important conversation together.